Why Isn’t She Responding to Your Messages on Tinder?

Categories Lifestyle


She’s lost her phone? She got hit by a bus? She was so excited to receive your message that she fainted? Nah, unlikely. These are the real reasons she’s not messaging you back — and what you can do about it.

She’s too busy

An attractive women using Tinder in a big city has an inbox that fills up quicker than compaints@whitehouse.gov at the moment — and the sheer weight of numbers means there’s a big risk of drowning in the hundreds of messages flooding in. That’s why it’s imperative to stand out from the crowd with bold, direct messages; something a bit more intriguing than, ‘Hey, you look beautiful’.

You messages don’t lead anywhere

In this hyper-competitive environment, those beige, polite, ‘How’s it going’ messages may as well read ‘Don’t bother replying’ — you need to build momentum quickly then ask her out decisively. You could have the best banter in the world but there’s no guarantee she’ll hit you back tomorrow if you didn’t ask her out directly when you had her attention in the first place — strike while the iron’s hot and organise that drink while you have the opportunity.

speed_dateOr they lead somewhere too fast

Sure, it’s a flirty medium, but you wouldn’t approach a woman in the bar with bedroom talk as your opening line and you shouldn’t on Tinder, either. Your opening message should take note of something in her profile and ask her about about it — if her profile pic is in front of the Eiffel Tower, ask her who she went to Paris with; if it’s of her graduation, ask her what she studied. Built rapport, then slowly introduce the flirty stuff.

She’s just not that into you

Hard to believe, we know, but not every woman on the face of the earth is going to fall for your boyish charms, so be aware there’s the small chance you’re simply not her type. Don’t take it personally — on the virtual meat market that is Tinder, you can’t blame her for being picky when she’s staring at 189 unread messages in her inbox.

What to do when she doesn’t reply?

Have a bit of self respect and move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea and Tinder’s a pretty handy fishing rod — keep playing the numbers game until you find your Tinderella.