This Cosmetic Procedure Will Make Your Eyes Water…

Categories Lifestyle

groin

Anyone interested in Scrotox? That’s right, botox for your scrotum…

It sounds like an option in some sick game of ‘would you rather’, but blokes in Britain and also now in Australia are actually undergoing ‘scrotox’: botox injected into their scrotum. And there’s one question that sticks out like the dog’s proverbials: why on earth would anyone ever want to inject poison into their genitals?

The £2,800 ($4700) procedure is performed for purely cosmetic rather than medical reasons, to reduce sag in the sack and smooth out wrinkles — imagine a shrivelled sultana being transformed back into a smooth grape.

The Metro newspaper in the UK have reported that the number of teste-tucks have doubled over the past 12 months as plastic surgery becomes more common among men, many of whom are apparently struggling with constant rejection because their ball bag is just that little bit too crinkly.

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Metro’s illustration for the scrotox story

The procedure takes just under an hour, and involves 20 to 30 injections into the layer of muscle laying just beneath the skin . . . yeah, ouch. It comes with serious medical warnings — go figure — but if you’re self-conscious about your prune-like plums, these are the three benefits you can look forward to.

Less sweat

Botox blocks sweat and sure, that might be handy, but it’s nothing a good shower can’t fix — no need to leap for a jab to the Jatz.

Less wrinkles

Perfect if you’re trying to impress that date who’s looking for someone who’s tall, dark, handsome… and blessed with a ball bag that’s as smooth as a baby’s bottom.

More size

The procedure enlarges the appearance of the scrotum and its contents by relaxing the muscles down there. You don’t win many admirers even if you’re stashing oranges, so it seems a strange place to invest a couple of grand’s worth of work.

For all its ‘benefits’, we’re not sure scrotox is going to catch on — what was the other option in that sick game of ‘would you rather’?.