Josh Thomas

The Wisdom: Aussie Comedian Josh Thomas

Categories Lifestyle

Josh Thomas

The pixieish comedian and occasional TV personality on failure, hangovers and Casey Donovan.

A wise man knows… I don’t know? How would I know? I’d have to be as wise or more wise than the wise man!

But a stupid person will… think they aren’t stupid. We’re all stupid. Big stupid idiots, I guess.

What really makes me laugh is… My friends telling me stories about times they failed. I just love failure.

But the unfunniest thing is… genocide.

When I was a kid I… was a dickhead.

Now I’m grown up… I’m still a dickhead but I’ve gotten better at managing it.

If I could tweet my teen self a 140-character message it’d be: You’re a gay homo that likes kissing boys. You’re the only one that cares. X

My heroes have always been… I dunno if I’ve ever had any heroes.

My generation’s biggest problem… is the last generation not letting us fix the problems they made, even though we are really keen to.

It would’ve been great to live in… Meryl Streep’s womb.

My spirit animal would have… to be my dog, John. I just feel like we really get each other.

The last dream I remember was… bullshit.

Success is… I don’t fucking know.

Failure can… be OK. It’s never as bad as it seems at the time.

When in doubt I… call my parents. They’re never very helpful but at least they answer.

At the end of a hard day… I sit on the floor of a hot shower. It makes me feel good and also it speeds up global warming, which usually seems like a good idea after a hard day.

Television is… fine. If you don’t like it go for a walk, or change the channel.

When I see my own stuff I… feel weird. It’s impossible to connect with something you’ve made the same way the audience does. I start freaking out about how much of what people like about it, don’t like about or don’t understand.

A book I’d recommend to everyone is… Casey Donovan’s autobiography Big, Beautiful & Sexy. It’s stunning. I was stunned.

If a song had to play whenever I arrived somewhere I’d want it to be… Beyonce’s “Move Your Body”. I’d never be in a bad mood.

Australia really needs to… stop thinking we’re hard done by. We are not hard done by. We are doing very well. We can afford to help others.

If I was in power for a day I’d… stay very still and very quiet and not interfere with anything.

The best place to be is… in bed with someone you like.

At parties I… dance beautifully. Really beautifully.

The morning after it’s a case of… Pity. Wallowing in pity. It’s the best hangover cure, better than bacon and eggs.

Love is… tricky.

Twenty years from now… I don’t know.

Looking at the stars I… wonder where they went?

Top of my bucket list is… bucket list?! I’m 27! Do I need a bucket list?

My epitaph will be… Jesus Christ, you’re being a real Debbie Downer! Epitaph! What does it matter? I’ll be dead. It can say whatever my friends and family want it to say. Maybe, “Here lies Josh – he was all right.”