The Wisdom – Dr Chris Brown

Categories Lifestyle

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The veterinarian and star of Bondi Vet, The Living Room and I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here loves planes, swimming and dogs getting busy.

A wise man knows… all his credit card numbers, passport numbers, PIN numbers and the important phone numbers in his life, off by heart. That’s why I’m not a wise man.

A foolish man… cites what he thinks are his credit card numbers, passport numbers and PIN numbers, and uses them randomly when paying important bills.

What makes me laugh… is watching dogs humping. It always has, I don’t know why. I think it’s the optimism and unfounded confidence they display. But good on them. It’s also funny because it’s not my leg.

The unfunniest thing… is animal cruelty. Unfortunately I see a lot of it. Part of the reason I’m a vet is because we’re talking about the most defenceless little creatures on earth and they have no way to speak up. It’s really as low as it gets.

When I was a boy I thought… I’d be a pilot. I was obsessed. I used to write away to airlines and make up stories about doing class projects. I wrote to Aer Lingus so I could get them to send me their posters. Unfortunately I can’t be a pilot because I’m colour blind.

If I could tweet my teen self… I’d tell him to relax and smile. I had braces and I didn’t smile for two years. Everyone should have a shot of themselves looking their most awkward and it doesn’t get more awkward than braces. I don’t have that. I just have a shot of me looking mildly emo.

My heroes were always… Tim Rogers from You Am I. He’s an incredible guy and [You Am I record] Hi-Fi Way was the soundtrack to my teenage years. Also Paul “The Chief” Harragon and the brothers from The Proclaimers, who seemed to make a career out of nothing.

The last time I cried was… when a grown man’s pet died. There’s something about men crying that gets to me. I also cry on planes while watching tearjerker films, which is terrible because there’s nowhere to hide.

I really hate…  Unfounded arrogance. I find it the most repulsive quality. It must be from growing up in Newcastle where that quality is not looked kindly on at all.

My best quality has to be… humility. I have a fairly good ability to laugh at myself and I pride myself on it. I’m naturally clumsy and occasionally say stupid things. There’s plenty of material.

If I could quit one thing it’d be… chewing my fingernails. I eat enough as it is. I find it hard to relax and so when I’m anxious, the fingernails cop it. The only antidote is when I’ve had a busy couple of days in the vet clinic because then
I don’t trust what’s under those fingernails.

Success is… looking back and saying you made a difference. In the vet work I do, you’re the last line of defence for an animal. If you can walk away and know you’re the reason the animal is alive or pain-free, that’s enough.

Failure is… two-fold. Frustrating because I’m a perfectionist but also the greatest learning experience you can have. It’s also the best source of amusing anecdotes.

When in doubt I… start talking and hope an idea comes into your head. I’m A Celebrity… is live so I’ve had to learn that skill because the worst thing in television is dead air.

At the end of a hard day I… go for a swim. The ocean is the best way to relax. There are chemical and scientific reasons for that but just looking at the water and being in it is the greatest de-stresser of all.

At a party I’ll be… raiding the bottom of the ice bucket for the imported beers someone brought. Because that’s what happens to me all the time.

The morning after you’ll find me… eating some eggs and then exercising. I can’t actually deal with the idea of a hangover.

If a song could play whenever I arrived somewhere it would be… Radiohead’s “Creep” or Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone” from Top Gun.

What we learn from animals is… patience, and being happy with not very much. Animals will wait for something if it means enough to them.

Love is… knowing nothing else matters.

Top of my bucket list is… to dog-sled across Greenland.

My epitaph will read… “He had years and really should have given a lot more thought to this.”

Dr Chris Brown hosts I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here Season 3, returning to Network TEN in January 2017.