Do you commit any of these sex sins? Then it’s time to lift your game between the sheets.
You might consider foreplay optional, but she certainly doesn’t. Relationship expert Stacey Nelkin warns that women take a while to warm up. “Not warming up the engine properly before putting the foot on the accelerator . . . Insufficient foreplay can undermine the entire act of sex. We women need it more than you guys do!”
Everyone’s heard that old line about trimming the bushes so the tree looks bigger. Plus, it’s a hygiene thing for a lot of women. “Men who trim? I applaud them. I’m not talking full on, full body waxing or anything involving baby oil – but a gentle shape and sculpt is just common courtesy,” wrote British author Amy Grier. “Do it because it looks and feels better than the ‘70s folk singer thing you’re doing at the moment.”
Being obsessed with the clit
According to sex therapist Sari Cooper, many men treat the clitoris like a button that you press on then an orgasm magically pops out. “Paying too much attention to the glans, at the top of the vulva, can take away from pleasure for some women. It’s so sensitive, that too much stimulation can hurt. It’s more than the small ‘button’ you can see . . . you can go back and forth.”
In news that shouldn’t come as much of a surprise, women don’t like it when you treat your dick like it’s a pneumatic drill. “Monotonous pumping can have a numbing effect on the woman, especially if she’s not aroused enough to respond to intense sensation,” said Felice Dunas PhD, who suggests varying the depth, speed, and rhythm of your thrusts to enhance your partner’s pleasure.
Doing it your way
Even when you take the initiative, also take an interest in what your partner is into by following her verbal and physical cues rather than treating her like a porn star. “Don’t assume that just because you saw a woman moan on a porn site that this is what your woman will enjoy,” wrote sex therapist Julie Orlov. “Women tend to have their own preferences on how they like to have sex. Make sure you find out what pleases your mate. And let her run the show from time to time. Make sure her needs are being met.”