Nicknamed the ‘Matriarch of Matchmakers’ after four decades of linking partners with potential partners, Yvonne Allen spills the beans on how to find true love in this superficial swipe-right era.
Chemistry is key
The veteran matchmaker says many men she consults have no idea if women found them attractive or were interesting in them because dating apps Tinder have desensitised them to real-life flirting and made modern romantic encounters superficial.
“While physical attraction and chemistry are important, guys who would like to have a great relationship with a gal need to be wary of the ‘tick and click’ culture of online dating based on photos,” she says. “All too often their ‘tick’ is an automatic response to a woman’s looks, which might be fine for a one-night stand but be little basis for an ongoing, mutually rewarding relationship.”
Don’t be too picky
A phone full of digital matches also makes you feel like you’re plucking a partner like a meal from a buffet . . . but can distract you from the important traits you’re looking for in a partner.
“These days it’s also common, for both sexes, to have a cerebral list of requirements that they desire in a partner without asking themselves why the special someone they seek would be looking for them,” says Yvonne, who encourages her clients to list the qualities they need in a relationship.
“Chance encounters in bars or trawling the web are not the preferred ways to meet a partner of our clients, especially those who have demanding careers and are 35-plus. They appreciate the personal, professional, informative yet confidential approach we take to introducing them to someone it’s likely they’d like to know.”
There’s more than meets the eye
Yvonne says the couples that flourish after she introduces wouldn’t have chosen each other on the basis of a photo, but instead rely on a deeper connection.
“Our clients read a comprehensive profile about each other before choosing to meet,” she says. “That way when the time comes, if the chemistry is there, you know there is also something beneath to build on.”
Give it time
Why do so many guys marry the girl next door, or their high school crush, or someone who started out as just a friend? According to Yvonne, that’s because those couples have time to develop a solid foundation of friendship before striking up a romantic connection.
“Men often used to marry the girl next door, or someone in the same office, not because they had the hots for them at the outset but because they grew to know and really care for each other,” she explains.
“Real relationships require time to develop, as do the skills needed for sustaining a mutually rewarding partnership, especially given the pressures of today. You don’t just fall in and out of love at the click of fingers. Love is not as simple as a notification to say you’ve got a match.”
Find out more
Yvonne Allen has condensed four decades of matchmaking experience into a series of eBooks — visit yvonneallen.com.au for more info.