Tick all these boxes and you’re a love god…
1. You listen
It’s Psychology 101 – we like people who listen to us because it validates us as important creatures with something to say. Many men think the way to impress is to boast and dominate the conversation. While women love men who’re confident and opinionated, they also want to have their say – and have it genuinely taken into account. If a woman is talking about a problem, she’s usually not asking you to solve it. So don’t mansplain. Just listen. Ask questions. There’s two of you. If the conversation isn’t 50-50, there’s something wrong.
2. You’re considerate
It’s not all about you. You think about how to make her happy and act on it, from small things like making her dinner to grander gestures like booking a surprise holiday. That means remembering little things – anniversaries, how she likes her tea, who her favourite authors are.
3. You’re no lapdog
It’s not all about her. Nothing turns a woman off more than a needy guy who hangs on her every word and whim and is too eager to please. As the saying goes, no man ever got a woman from his knees.
4. You’re you
You don’t try to be something you’re not. Women will see through any artifice pretty quickly. Be confident and proud of who you are. Your style – as in a set of behaviours, from the way you dress and walk to how you talk and what you talk about – is unique to you. Own it. Don’t apologise for it. But realise also you’re not perfect. You’re a work in progress. So admit your failings and try to improve always.
5. You’re funny
You can make her laugh. You see the lighter side of things – including yourself. You don’t take everything too seriously. That said, you know how to tease and joke with her, without every making her feel that you’re laughing at her. While you can use sexual innuendo as the basis for laughs, you don’t act like a grade four schoolboy and reduce everything to a Benny Hill gag.
6. You’re serious
While you have a sense of humour, you also know that not everything is a joke. When it comes to emotions and ambitions, you’re confident in expressing how you feel and what you want out of life, particularly where she’s concerned.
7. You’re handsome
You don’t have to be Brad Pitt but you do have to be attractive to her if it’s going to work. In fact, you’re unlikely to get anywhere is she hasn’t got a basic physical attraction to you on some level. But you can improve your chances by following the simple wardrobe, grooming and exercise advice regularly found on this very website. Take pride in your appearance.
8. You’re fit and healthy
Again, you don’t have to be an Olympic athlete, but women – like men – respond to potential partners who present as physically healthy specimens. This is largely within your control – diet and exercise can quickly reshape your body, lift your energy levels and overall sense of wellbeing.
9. You’re cool & upbeat
You don’t get ruffled or angry or have outbursts. While some women love drama in relationships, most seek to avoid confrontation at all costs. A quick temper, particularly over minor irritations, is often a dealbreaker. Similarly, few women want to be around a dude who’s all gloom and doom. Cultivate a positive outlook. You need to be fun to be around.
10. You’re good in bed
No need to stress about this too much because being a sexually satisfying partner isn’t exactly rocket science. Patience, consideration, communication, sense of humour and a genuine desire to give her pleasure goes a long way. Don’t be afraid to ask what she wants – or to tell her what you want. If you’re not hugely experienced, do a bit of reading about women’s sexual responses and fantasies, preferably articles or books written by women. Do not take your cues from Pornhub.