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10 Signs You’re Too Scruffy

Categories Grooming

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Shape up to make the right impression every time…

1. Old T-Shirts

They’re torn, faded and frayed but you insist on keeping them – and even wearing them. How many of them really have nostalgic value? If they’re really meaningful, you don’t want them to fall apart. So take only the truly special T-shirts from your wardrobe and put them away carefully so you can rediscover them in a few decades from now. Turn the rest into rags to clean your car.

2. Odd Socks

The other one must be somewhere, right? So until it turns up, you just hang onto the solo sock. Before you know it, you’ve got a drawer that looks like singles bar for sock puppets. Shake this horrible habit! Every three months, do a search and rescue – underneath the bed, in other drawers, etc – before doing a complete wash. Set out all the clean socks. Pair ‘em up. Toss the rest because, sorry to break the sad news, their mates just ain’t coming back.

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3. Grubby Shoes

When was the last time you gave your dress shoes a clean and polish? Do it once every few wears—not years!—and they’ll last you a lifetime and look good every time you put them on. Same goes for your sneakers.

4. Crinkly Shirts

Do you wear a shirt each day in the hope that your body heat will someone “iron” it? Stop kidding yourself. Set aside half an hour every week to iron your shirts. Before you know it, you’ll get faster at ironing and even enjoy the process. Nothing feels better than donning a crisp clean shirt each morning.

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5. Saggy suit

Where do you hang your suit? How often do you have it cleaned and pressed? If the answers are: a) over a chair and b) whenever I go to a funeral, then you’ve got it all wrong. Take the 30 seconds you need to correctly hang your suit jacket and trousers each day. Give your suit a refresher at the dry cleaners every 10 wears — or immediately after a big event where soilage might’ve occurred.

6. Crappy carriers

It’s all well and good to have sparkling shoes, crisp shirts and a sharp suit but you undo all the good work if you’ve got a ratty Jansport backpack slung over your shoulder or a frayed pleather satchel in hand. Ditch the backpack when wearing a suit — it’s for travel and the gym only — and opt for a handsome quality leather carry-all or briefcase.

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7. Unkempt hair

There’s a difference between artfully tousled and accidentally ruffled. The first is where you’ve gotten a specific hair cut and then styled with product to look carefully messy. The second is where you get out of bed and head off to work with bedhead and without any effort. They might sound the same but they’re not and you’re fooling no-one.

8. Ragged beard

Like your hair, there’s a difference between a kept beard and an unkempt mess. Trim yours to the length you desire every few days. But you should shave stubble areas – your cheeks and neck – every day unless you want to start looking like a Wanted poster.

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9. Makes Scents

Looking great is only part of the equation. You need to smell like a million bucks, too. A well-dressed man who reeks of body odour, unwashed clothes or too much fragrance can be as off-putting as one who doesn’t take any care with his appearance. Wash frequently, both body and clothes, wear deodorant and spritz lightly!

10. Speak Nicely

Even if you get all of the above right, you can still came across as a scruffy bastard if you open your mouth and unleash a torrent of inappropriate language, whether it’s dropped Gs, four-letter words or malapropisms. You don’t have to speak the Queen’s English but sticking out your hand and saying “G’day champ, great to bloody meetcha, whatcha reckon we blow the froth offa few f*ckin’ coldies or somefink, eh?” will result in assumptions being made about you – bad assumptions.