The Pros and Cons of Going Commando

Categories Fashion

Sans underwear may be easier, more convenient and arguably more comfortable… but there are some downsides as well.

Pro: comfort

No more elastic digging into your hips. No more unintentional wedgies. No more awkward adjustments to make sure the meat tray is arranged as it should be. Just pure, unshackled comfort. Besides, you shower regularly — what’s even the point of that thin layer of fabric separating your junk from your jeans anyway?

Con: chafing

With no fabric to protect your thighs, ditching the underwear is a one-way ticket to Chafe City. And don’t get us started on how much fungal infections like warm, sweaty, dank environments. Those risks can be offset by applying baby powder or Vaseline to the inside of your thighs . . . but have you really got time for that? And do you really want to get around smelling like a freshly changed bub?

Pro: laundry

You don’t need to chuck your Reg Grundies in the wash if you don’t wear them in the first place! On the other hand, your dacks will need to see the inside of a washing machine more often without that barrier provided by underpants unless you don’t mind your trousers smelling too ripe.

Con: There’s Something About Mary

Zippers. Dangly bits. Pain.

Pro: fertility

Let’s get scientific for a second: your testicles are designed to self-regulate their temperature, and millions of years of evolution didn’t account for an elastic prison hugging your nuts. In 2012, the University of Sheffield even confirmed that men who wore tight undies had less healthy sperm than blokes who gave their grapes some room to breathe.

Con: wardrobe

When you cut underwear out of your wardrobe, you cut out a whole lot of other garments, too. Those baggy basketball shorts? Sorry bud. Those light cotton chinos? No chance. Those super skinny trousers? Not unless you’re desperate to tell the world whether you’re circumcised or not. The thick denim is on much higher rotation when there’s nothing underneath.

Pro: famous friends

Ditch the duds and join the likes of Jon Hamm, Hugh Jackman, Matthew McConaughey, and Josh Hartnett as men who reportedly wouldn’t touch a pair of undies with a 10-foot barge pole.

Con: slippage

Is the freedom of free-balling in shorts worth the risk of flashing the full butcher’s shop window? Never mind the potential embarrassment of splitting your pants, or suffering from a stray droplet or two when you go to the loo.